My Musings

Oooh small furry squeaking thing running round the living room (a mouse mummy informs me) i'd better help my sister Missy puss catch it considering it was her that released it into the living room in the first place! And i'm ignoring mummy Sonia's comment of "Yay, finally something to get your furry little butt off the sofa and moving" *snort* sleeping is an art form don't ya know and i do it so well!

No i'm not wrapped in a bun and covered in tomato sauce, i mean i'm too hot! This weather is not nice weather for Pugs or any dogs really but especially pugs cos we're more special than all of you lot which means we need extra TLC in this sort of weather. I've been trying to persuade mummy Ruth to install air conditioning for me to cool off but she said we're too skint so i'll have to make do with sharing mummy Sonia's nice breeze from the fan, thankfully mummy Sonia doesn't like this sort of whether either cos she's something called a 'crip' or is disabled to be more politically correct. Anyhow whatever i'm just glad she insists on having the fan on even though mummy Ruth's Aspergers hates the background noise, thankfully mummy Sonia wins on this argument and has my full backing as well. I have a very unique family don't i, i'm such a lucky pug to have 2 mummies who worship me like mine do. Anyway i'm gonna go back to dribbling on mummny Sonia from the heat and might drop a few hints about her making us some of the yummy yogurt ice pops like she does, they're really yummy treats in this heat you should try them! [*mummy's note* How to make the yogurt pops - freeze low fat/sugar free yogurt either whole in it's little tub for a dog like Pepsi (St bernard) or in ice cube trays for smaller dogs like Piggywig]

Anyway i'm off to melt, catch you all soon. Love Piggy the Pug xxxx

A footnote from Mummy Ruth...

...having the fan on gives me an excuse to play music on the stereo louder than usual, to drown out that blessed fan! So now it's John Barrowman singing songs from musicals vs. the Fan...

I'm sorry my loyal worshippers but i'm afraid your mistress Piglet let you, my potential Election voters, down. You all want to know why my name wasn't on your ballot papers last Thursday don't you and why there's all this hung parliament rubbish happening when you could well have had a fabulous Pug (that's me by the way) running our country now? Well the thing is as you all know I am a Pug and well Pug's, I hate to admit it, are ultimately one of if not the laziest of the canine family. I run my life by delegation i.e using the puggy eye gaze mind control to get my parents to do my every bidding and so far it's all worked fine that way but when it came to the nomination papers for standing for parliament mummy said if I wanted to be PM I had to walk to the postbox myself to post the papers but that's like a mile round walkies, I don't like walking to the bottom of the ramp let alone that far! And so I  just kept putting it off and putting it off until I clean forgot all about it and I can't even blame Royal Mail for this mistake as the papers just never got posted in fact I think they may have been the papers I had great fun in shredding all over the sofa and floor last weekend ooops. So there you have it, I don't think you will ever have a Puggy for PM cos unless they're tip top on their human mind control nothing would ever get done!

Anyway all this election stuff pales into consideration when I tell you what my cruel cruel parents are doing to me now. They've only gone and put me on a diet!!! Can you believe it? And I mean a proper no treats, no tidbits, special dog food, vet weigh-in's diet I think they really mean business this time as most times I can at least convince mummy Ruth to give me a sneaky tidbit or two but nope mummy Sonia is making sure mummy Ruth sticks to the diet as well (only mummy Ruth doesn't have to eat the special dog food) *sigh* what am I to do? Can someone send me a sneaky food parcel so I don't wither away to nothing, pleeeeeeeeeeease i'll give you millions of puggy kisses if you will? And not only that but now they've come up with devious ways of getting me moving/running around, if I refuse to go walkies then they said they'd find new ways to get me moving including making me play fetch for some of my kibble every day and as happened this afternoon a quick game of Pugby. *Bah* I hate this diet already although i must admit the kibble - Royal Canin Satiety Support - is rather yummy, it's supposed to help fill me up more, that's the theory anyway i'd have thought they'd have realised by now though i'm a pug you could feed me ever  hour of the day and i'd still come begging for more!

So yeah this afternoon they came back from their Sunday dinner at the pub and spent a little time getting sorted out, mummy Ruth checking her emails etc and then next thing I know mummy Sonia's shouting mummy Ruth down from her computer saying "do you fancy chasing pug around the garden for a few minutes?"  I didn't have time to hide anywhere before they'd stuck my harness on me and I was shepherded outside along with Pepsi. Pepsi was happily bouncing around whereas I just wanted to go back in, I knew they were up to something and when trying to coax me to move or chasing me didn't work they resorted to the Pugby game, picking me up like a round, fat, Pug shaped, Rugby ball and carrying me to the furthest point of the garden. I ran straight back to the door alongside mummy Ruth or ran to mummy Sonia for protection but got none cos I just got picked up again for another round of Pugby. Bah next time I hear them plot something like that i'm going to crawl under the sofa and hide or something! Oh well at least it was only 3 rounds of Pugby and I did enjoy running alongside mummy, I can run pretty fast when I want to, even if I didn't like being picked up and carried and I think I got mummy Ruth's blood pumping as well as she was out of breath as well as me when we came inside although some of that might have been from laughing at her funny little Puggy. I do love my mummies even if they make me run around and play Pugby with me and I know they'd never do anything to hurt me, they just want me to lose some of my weight so that i'm a healthier pug and will stay with them longer rather than getting ill cos i'm too porky. Anyway after all that excitement it's definitely time for some well deserved nap time, catch ya later. Love Piggy the Pug xxx

With all this election wotsit on the television recently a couple of people, well both my mummies tbh, have commented on the resemblance I may bear to a certain Prime Minister. No not Winston Churchill but Gordon Brown leader of the Labour Party! Saggy jowls, smushed up face, a little bit grey around the edges and a tendency to drool when no one's looking and thats just Gordon let alone comparing it to my handsome looks!

But then I got to thinking (don't worry i didn't hurt myself) well if i can *look* like a current prime minister then maybe I could *be* the next prime minister. Can you just picture it, lots of meetings and debates in the house of commons means lots of chances to take a crafty nap, surely if i'm PM I can nominate others to speak on my behalf so no one will notice if i'm having a sneaky 40/50/60 winks will they? And then I can really start to pass some good dog laws not all this doggy discrimination with no dogs allowed in shops etc and as for Breed Specific Legislation well in my humble puggy opinion it's some of the owners than need a good bite on the bum for tormenting their dogs and making them into attack weapons, it's not all the dog's fault you know.

Yeah i'm really getting into this election wotsit now, tis just a pity they cleaned up the expenses thing though cos just think how many extra dog treats, posh dog food and mortgages on my second holiday home I could have claimed for, oh well i'm sure i'll manage on the PM's wages.

So then what can I call my new party? Hmmm well the most obvious is 'The British National Pug Party' cos well it's what we are but another party seems to have stolen our acronym (BNP) so we're stealing it back, i will point out though that we are definitely not like the other BNP party, we're not racist we allow anyone in our party even those hissing cats (as long as they don't steal my dinner that is). And our party colours, well thats obvious they just have to be a rainbow to symbolise the love i have for my two mummies (see we're not homophobic either).

So then on Thursday 6th May 2010 make sure you get down the polling station and make your mark next to my name, Miss Piglet Mills for the British National Pug Party and i promise you if i get into power i will bring you:

• Compulsory nap times several times a day/whenever you want them.
• Walkies whenever you demand it not when your owner says you have to go.
• Quality controls and minimum dimensions on all dog beds so you can nap in comfort.
• Doggy minimum wage - humans should recognise all that we do for them and recompense us accordingly in dog treats.
• No VAT on dog food or dog treats therefore meaning we can have more food/treats for less money.
• Life imprisionment for anyone mistreating/injuring/killing any dog/cat/other animal (except spiders, mummy Sonia doesn't like spiders).
• No Doggy Discrimination - Access for all - I want to be able to sniff my food before my humans buy it, sit under the table at the restaurant getting the titbits or to be able to have a nice drink at the pub with them inside not stuck outside in all weathers plus mummy is less anxious when she has one of her doggy babies with her but i'm too stubborn to be able to be trained as an assistance dog so they won't let me go anywhere with her where it would help like shops etc.
• Free Doggy Health Service - the humans have the NHS so why can't we have a free Doggy version.
• Animals on TV limited to certain times of the day plus a couple of dedicated channels so that those of us that don't like seeing them on our tv (like me) don't have to watch them.

So who would you prefer to be running our country me or Gordon???

So have you missed my witty musings in my absence? What do you mean you hadn't realised i wasn't around! Humph you can go right off people sometimes you know. You have biscuits? Well maybe i'll forgive you for not missing me then. *waggy tail*

Anyway while i've been away, lots of things have been happening, well maybe not lots in a humans life but lots for a little dog like me who's normal day consists of eating, sleeping, barking at the TV and chasing cats! The main thing being i've had my birthday, back on the 26th March (it's not too late to send presents you know *hint, hint*) and i am now the grand old age of 5, surely i must be a grown up pug now right? I'm sure i've spotted a grey hair or two as well, eek i'll have to get some of mummy Ruth's beauty salon clients to start doing puggy facials so i can keep my youthful good looks. *snort* Mummy Sonia says i have no hope of sorting my wrinkles out they don't make wrinkle cream strong enough. You see what insults i have to put up with around here, it's enough to cause a few more grey hairs and wrinkles i can tell you! Anyway yes back to my birthday, i hasten to point out that *I* didn't get a birthday box of edible goodies from Daisy's Dog Deli like my sister Pepsi did last year for her birthday. [Mummy Sonia points out that Piggy did get a yummy birthday treat though, the crackling off the pork joint and some yoghurt, two of her favourite things.] Well ok, i guess i did get my birthday treat off my mummy's but it still wasn't doggy meatloaf with liver, spinach and cheese or yummy doggy biscuits & muffins was it although i guess Pepsi's birthday goodie box was a treat for us all, not just her, as she very kindly shared it with both me and Ebby. Mummy's just added 3 of the photo's from that night to my photo gallery (along with a few others), unfortunately she caught me in the act of helping myself to a cheesy star biscuit that she had on her table in front of her. Ooops i've never going to live that one down am i?

Anyway all this blogging is so tiring and i really need my beauty sleep, i'll tell you about what else i've been up to another time especially about my friend Alex coming to stay over Easter when i've got mummy to sort out the pics. Oh yeah if you fancy some yummy dog treats for cheap prices get your human to check out the Approved Food website, they've got lots of treats and dog food in at the moment including Pedigree Rodeo's/Smacko's/Puppy Tubo's/Dentasticks at 2 packets for £1.50, mummy ordered us a load of treats yesterday so i hope they're still there for you to get some, check out the rest of the site as well they have some great bargains on there (not that mummy will always share them with us although we do get the odd crisp or 2).

Night all, love Piggy the Pug xxxx